The one year anniversary. A hard celebration.

In memory of:
James Russell Christensen
August 23 1949 - November 22 2004

What a hard week it has been. The memories of the day my dad died have been overwhelming to me. As I am certain they are even harder for my mom.

My dad and I rarely saw eye to eye on things, politics, television, or the way a lot of things should be handled. There was one thing that was never a doubt though. We loved each other, unconditionally regardless of our faults. There were times in my life that I wished I didn;t have to deal with my dad, but I know that because he was hard on me I am who I am today. I don;t agree with everything my dad did and said. Regardless I will always love him.

The day he was rushed to the hospital as I watched him laying there dying we had great opportunities. We told ne another that we loved each other. We apologized for all wrong doings that may have taken place between one another.

I had great opportunities with my dad prior to his dying and after. About two weeks before my dad passed away we sat down and talked. His doctor had informed him that the infection in his foot and leg would soon spread to the rest of his body if he didn;t have his leg amputated. My dad refused to have the procedure done and knew the risks he was to take. He and I sat down and talked about it. He tearfully asked me to take care of my mom. I asked him if he thought he was going. He told me "I sure as hell hope so." My dad was ready to pass through the veil for what was waiting for him on the other side. He had great faith in the love and redemption of the Great Redeemer Jesus Christ.

The Sunday morning my mom called me frantically at around 4 or 5AM I rushed to the hospital to be there with her and my dad. He was in the emergency room surrounded by doctors, it was like something you would have seen on the TV show ER. My mom and I were whisked away to a family room and told to wait patiently. We waited and until the doctor wanted to speak to us. We gave them the instruction as it was to be my dad's wishes. Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) That was unbelievably hard for my mom to pass on to the doctors and crushing for me to hear. We all knew though that my dad had suffered enough pain on this Earth and it was time for him to be relieved of that pain and suffering. Once stable we spoke to him for a short time. I left so that my parents could be alone and together. I am not a big an of hospitals I don't like to be there, I came and went often throughout the day. Some people may think that it heartless but it was my way of dealing with the situation.

At one point in the day I was called to return to the hospital so that my mom and I could speak to the doctor attending to my father. We told her the same things that we told the ER, do not resuscitate. If he was to live it was to be on his own, no heroics were to be performed.

The day was up and down. It was like a true emotional roller coaster. I had the wonderful opportunity to give my dad a blessing accompanied by my friends Lynn Orchard and Parker Fillmore.

It was amazing the blessing clearly stated that there was nothing to worry about, everything would be okay. All of us should be calm and not be worried about the situation at hand. I interpreted that he was going to be fine. That he would pull through. He died about twelve hours later. I struggled with that for a while. Until it hit me that everything was okay, it would be fine, and he was going to be alright. Just not here on Earth. How humbling it was to me to realize that the blessing offered was accurate, only my interpretation of it was wrong.

To help my mom I prepared most of the funeral arrangements. Called a friend who makes caskets for a living and got the process started to make a casket that would be appropriate to my dad. I had a casket made that was pure black, with orange pin striping, chrome handles, two large Harley Davidson emblems, and four small ones across the bottom. My dad was buried in what he wouls have loved a Harley Davidson casket. He rode his Harley and loved it. He loved it so much he even rebuilt it from his wheelchair in the early 80's after a horrific accident and 6 months in the hospital.

I had the opportunity to speak at my dad's funeral, dedicate his grave, be a pallbearer, and when the time came I, along with the remaining pallbearers lowered my dad's casket into the ground.

I remember it like it was yesterday. The love of my friends and family around us for my dad's passing. I remember our Bishop, Bert Dover putting his hand on my shoulder as I lost control as the US Army played Taps on behalf of my dad and his passing.

For the last year, in memory of my dad I have been growing my goatee. It is quite long now, but as I have made clear to everyone it is coming off. At least I believe I am going to shave it, there has been a lot of people telling me I should keep it. Grow it another year and so on. I just don;t know. We'll see about that.

I was honored yesterday to go to the Temple and be baptized for my dad, as his proxy. I also had the honor to confirm him with my good friend Bert Dover as his proxy. It was a great blessing for me to complete all of my dad's work. What a blessing. I am grateful for all that has been able to be done. I can;t wait to see my dad again, whole and complete without even a hair upon his head missing. It will be a truly great day.

In loving memory of my dad. Jim Christensen 23 August - 22 November