I am more exhausted than I have ever been. I sleep constantly. I don't want to go to work, school, anywhere. I am having so much trouble getting motivated. This has to be the most difficult thing I have ever experienced.
No one seems to understand the loss of two parents at 30. It is devastating. I have an overwhleming amount of work to get done, but little to no motivation to do it.
I miss my Mom so much. I never realized what a value she is in my life. I must have called her anywhere from 3 to 10 times a day, for advice, jokes, chit chat, whatever. It never mattered she was always willing to just chat with me for no reason. I keep picking up the phone to call her, but there is just no use. She is no longer there. I still "talk" to her in my mind and when I am alone, but the trusted voice of experience can no longer answer. I miss her dearly.
I am reassured by my faith in the Church that we will be able to be together forever and for that I am grateful. The pain I know will pass with time, but that does not make right now any less difficult.
No comments:
Post a Comment